They need to make an erectile dysfunction pill for flaccid reheated thin crust pizza so it can get stiff and crispy again. I’d call it “Pie-Agra.” – Producer Will… MORE
Category Archives: SMS Blog
Airplane Engine Fell From Sky
A giant United Airlines airplane engine exploded and fell from the sky in Denver and landed in the yards of a neighborhood below. Investigators are saying the engine likely separated from the plane because it was quote, “Tired of being asked to pull his damn mask back up during the flight.” Colleagues said the engine…… MORE
Loch Ness Monster News
This is for real: According to Virginia Polytechnic Institute science professor, Henry Bauer, the Loch Ness Monster is actually just a large undiscovered type of sea turtle that was trapped in the loch after the last Ice Age. As for Big Foot? Bauer says, “Well, that’s probably just a turtle in gorilla suit.” Some are…… MORE
Mars Rover
Mars rover, Perseverance, left Earth last July in the middle of the pandemic, contentious election, and civil unrest. It successfully landed on Mars today, and when NASA reached out for it’s first communication, Perseverance replied, “New phone. Who dis?” – Producer Will… MORE
Men with These Features Are the Best in Bed
Nothing says “sexual superstar” like a man with a thick beard . . . a bunch of badass tattoos . . . and small, dainty, ballerina feet. A new survey asked 4,500 women to name the physical features of their BEST sexual partner. Here are the top 10 most common features . . . 1. …… MORE
Tik Tok Toni
Song about winter – this guy is like a white guy in his 50s wearing a parka in the woods and grimacing https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeRRG31E/ Jew who loves trees – this guy has created a series called Jew who loves trees. And he uses the trees to describe the relationship between him and his older brother https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMedWeku6/…… MORE
Food Floors
Going on a year in quarantine with a 5 year old and a 17 month old, our floor is always just a carpet of crushed and smushed food. I’m thinking about replacing them with sewer grates. The floors, not the children. Yet. – Producer Will… MORE
Will’s Distraction Podcast: Nail Polish!
Learn about the history and origins of nail polish with a bunch of hilarious tangents. Check it out now: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/distraction/id1530188867 – Will… MORE
Do You and Your Pet Have Similar Personalities?
Would you say you and your pet have similar personalities? Over half of pet owners say YES. 55% of people with pets think their cat or dog has taken on some of their personality traits. Here are the ten most common traits people used to describe their pets . . . 1. Smart. 62% agreed…… MORE
Quarantine – this guy is Tik Tok’ing his way through quarantine and trying to find fun ways to pass each day. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMee3EbRt/ Deep thoughts – this guy is just sharing his deep thoughts https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeeYrbs2/ Cool facts – it’s time to learn a little something – this girl has pulled up some cool random facts https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMee3E7NC/…… MORE
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