Category Archives: SMS Blog

Toy Snow Shovel = Fast Cleaning

Toy Snow Shovel = Fast Cleaning

          My son, Lincoln, got this toy snow shovel for a gift one time.  It kind of just sits in the corner with other tall awkward toys – like a set of play brooms and mops and dust pans.  EXACTLY, right?  What kid plays at chore-stuff like mopping and SHOVELING SNOW? …MORE

Kraft Is Trying to Make Macaroni-and-Cheese a Breakfast Food

Kraft Is Trying to Make Macaroni-and-Cheese a Breakfast Food

I guess we’re at the point in the pandemic where ALL rules are out the window.  Because macaroni-and-cheese now counts as a BREAKFAST FOOD. A survey by Kraft found 56% of parents are letting their kids eat it for breakfast more often right now.  So Kraft is embracing the idea by giving out special-edition boxes…MORE

Back That Mask Up

Back That Mask Up

          I’ve been using this real N95 mask since March, and I’ve had to do some advanced repairs to keep it going (as you can see).  I don’t want to get rid of this mask though because it’s a real N95.  I’m kind of a mask snob and would rather look…MORE

Headbands Are Still Dope, Right?!

Headbands Are Still Dope, Right?!

          I wore this headband somewhere recently, and some dude was all like, “Well, looks the 1980s just arrived!  What are you?  Starring in a Judi Sheppard Missett Jazzercise workout video?”  No, A-hole!  And Who?  Jazzer-what?  Just kidding, I’ve actually heard of Jazzercising, but Judi Sheppard Missett?  Sorry, old timer.  And…MORE

Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” Has Been Banned

Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” Has Been Banned

An Irish pub in Spain has banned Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” during the pandemic because drunk people are so likely to sing along that the song spreads too many droplets. Linda Murphys Posted by Linda Carroll on Friday, July 31, 2020 Murphy’s Irish Bar in Corralejo, Spain, seemingly took the unusual decision as part of a wider effort to help stop the…MORE

Lazy Origami For Idiots

Lazy Origami For Idiots

          They say the ancient Asian art of origami (paper folding) can be a therapeutic medium through which one can not only express themselves, but also relieve stress.  Indeed, I’ve found this to be true.  Especially in these unprecedented times.  This is a peanut M&M crane.  I created this piece by…MORE

Are You Drinking Wine WRONG?!?!?

Are You Drinking Wine WRONG?!?!?

A new survey found the biggest mistakes people make when drinking wine.  And they literally mean wine etiquette things . . . not mistakes like, “I drank a jug of wine and had relations with someone wearing a stranger.” Anyway, in honor of National White Wine Day today, here are 10 of the biggest mistakes people make…MORE

Money’s Effin’ Nasty

Money’s Effin’ Nasty

          This is an actual dollar I just gave my son, Lincoln, for completing a scavenger hunt.  As he was playing with it, I noticed that grimey-ass stain under the green numbers.  Rich people say they wipe their ass with cash, and I always thought that was just some kind of…MORE

Producer Will Would Eat This Soap

Producer Will Would Eat This Soap

I love sweet oats.  This pretty much makes me a horse in every way except where it counts.  But, this soap, smells like dessert.  If it had raisins in it, you could just squirt it out into dollops on a cookie sheet and bake it at 350.  I bet you couldn’t tell the difference between…MORE

Unbearable, But Can’t Stop!

Unbearable, But Can’t Stop!

                        These are unbearable, they make me cough and choke, but I just can’t stop eating them.  Now I know what it’s like to smoke cigarettes.  I go into the gas station every morning, spend $4, and get bag of my Jalapeno Cheddar Spicy…MORE